You wouldnโt seek medical treatment from a guy who proudly told you he wasnโt a doctor. And thereโs no way youโd take medical advice from someone who repeatedly displayed zero grasp of basic human biology.
Likewise, you wouldnโt allow just some guy off the street to roof your house. Or fix your clogged pipes. Or work on your car. Or care for your pets. Or even cut your damn grass.
Yet, election after election, we do exactly these things when choosing people to lead the country.
For some reason, experience, intelligence and superior education have become less important in American right-wing politics than proudly not knowing anything about anything and having never ever been here before.
For GOP voters, forget the guy who understands the issues and has a plan, give them โthe outsiderโ โ the candidate who hasnโt served a day in office, doesnโt understand how any process works and who rarely, if ever, attempts to explain in detail plans to address real, actual issues.
Such a setup has produced, thanks to this state, such tremendous results as Donald Trump in the White House, Tommy Tuberville in the Senate and Barry Moore in the U.S. House of Representatives. At the state level, it has produced an Alabama Legislature that is routinely befuddled by basic governance and ignorant of the laws to the point that the lawmakers literally have been unable to follow even the ones theyโve written themselves.
And it is costing us. Big time.
Setting aside the everyday toll that we pay for continuing to elect good olโ boys whoโll maintain the status quo and keep the libโruls from dragging everyone in the state kicking and screaming into the 20th century, thereโs now the tolls weโre paying for the political games of the doofuses.
A few months back, as I begged you not to vote out Doug Jones in favor of the babbling bag of Trump cliches that is Tommy Tuberville, I warned you that doing so could cost Alabama billions of dollars. Because Tuberville is totally clueless, isnโt well liked and has a penchant for grandstanding and pandering instead of actually working to serve the state.
Turns out, I was way off.
He might end up costing us trillions.
Before even being sworn into office, Tuberville is on the verge of costing us billions. As APRโs Bill Britt reported on Friday, Tubervilleโs plan to join Alabama Rep. Mo Brooks โ another member of our blithering idiotmen brigade โ and his challenge to the presidential election has so enraged Senate Republicans that they are threatening to move Space Force out of Huntsville.
Now, granted, Space Force is a ridiculous waste of taxpayer money for a program that lacks a coherent purpose or plan, but, hey, itโs gotta go somewhere so why not here. Itโs not as if our refusal would send the tax dollars back to working people. So, weโll happily take the billions in money and jobs, and build a Millenium Falcon or make up plans to send Matt Damon to Mars, or whatever a Space Force does.
But Tubervilleโs ignorance of the processes, along with his narcissism, is getting in the way of all that.
Even without my warning, this should not come as a surprise to anyone. Tuberville repeatedly told everyone exactly who he was and exactly what his intentions were โ to emulate Trump at every turn, to follow Trump into every scandal, to react as Trump would to every situation.
And Alabamians voted overwhelmingly for that, falling once again for โthe outsider.โ Just as they fell for Trump, another outsider who also has been an unmitigated disaster for this state.
In the span of four years, Trumpโs managed to turn Alabama farmers into welfare queens by completely wrecking nearly every trade market and then bailing out farmers โ with billions upon billions going to large, industrial farms โ with record amounts of subsidies and handouts.
Trump diverted billions more set to be spent on military bases around Alabama and on a ship-building project in Mobile, and sent it instead to pay for his idiotic, non-functioning border wall. You remember, the one Mexico was supposed to pay for.
I guess if youโre gullible enough to believe Mexico was paying for it to begin with, youโll be gullible enough to believe the wall was more important than decent housing for the men and women who defend the country.
Trumpโs trade battles and tariffs have also damaged the auto industry in the state. And earlier this month he attacked funding that would allow the FBI to relocate many of its operations to Huntsville โ a project worth billions to Alabama.
But Trump, like Tuberville, is an outsider. Yeah, sure, heโs cost us billions and consistently been an international embarrassment, but then, hey, he isnโt PC. He says whatโs on his mind. Heโs different. He takes a unique approach.
Which might explain why our heart attack was treated with Tylenol, our clogged pipes are also now cracked, the new shingles leak and our grass is dead.
But it doesnโt explain why yโall keep voting for these yahoos.
