By Josh Moon
Alabama Political Reporter
One candidate doesn’t know what DACA is. The other candidate doesn’t know what the truth is.
That’s what you’re left with in the Republican runoff for a U.S. Senate seat.
Roy Moore v. Luther Strange.
Two candidates who most of us don’t want.
A judge who keeps getting himself tossed off the bench and a malleable lawyer who will conform to any position if it means he gets to never really work again.
If either of these clowns is elected and allowed to serve in D.C., we all know the result. It will be another year of corporate tax breaks, another year of the rich getting richer, another year of denying science – how’s that working out right now? – another year of putting working folks last.
Haven’t you had enough?
Do me a favor: Take a good, hard look at your life. Consider the decisions that your state government has made over the years – to limit school funding, to short-change environmental regulations, to go light on ethics laws, to hand out billions in tax breaks and corporate welfare to some of the most profitable companies on earth while never having another dime for social programs that help regular, poor folks.
Think about all of that.
That’s life in Alabama. We rank near the bottom in health, education, quality of life, job readiness, job pay, workforce readiness and infant mortality. We can’t eat a fish from 90 percent of our rivers, and we’ve poisoned the earth in north Birmingham, where Luther Strange has gone to bat for the polluters.
And in one term, we’ve managed to have both our House speaker and governor indicted and forced out of office for ethics issues and had our Supreme Court chief justice – the aforementioned Roy Moore – booted off the bench.
All of this under conservative, Republican control.
And all of it will continue with either Moore or Strange.
But I know a guy….
Now, listen to me. I know that for many of you what I’m about to suggest is borderline unthinkable.
Ignore the Republican runoff, and vote for the Democrat in December.
I know, it’s a crazy notion. You, voting for Doug Jones. I mean, there you are in your middle-class home, bills stacked up, kids looking at college debt, haven’t had a raise in years and driving an hour to see a doctor, and some guy wants you to vote for a Democrat.
Pfft. Yeah, right.
Why would you do that? Why would you vote for a pro-union candidate that might make it easier for you to get a raise? Why would you vote for a pro-public education candidate who might make it easier for you and your kids to receive the education necessary to land a good job or be accepted into a good college? Why would you vote for a pro-lottery candidate who would make it easier for your child to receive a free two-year degree or possibly a four-year scholarship?
Why would you vote against the party that refused to expand Medicaid and by doing so drove doctors out of the state, shut down rural hospitals and prevented more than 300,000 Alabamians from receiving health care, thus driving up your costs? Why would you vote against a party that has consistently, and often without shame, lined its pockets as it handed out your tax dollars to billion-dollar companies while you got zip?
Why would anyone expect you to do things differently?
After all, it’s not like any of you can think for yourselves.
Because if there was any threat of you thinking for yourselves, your candidates would be putting in more effort.
As it is, one of these goobers hasn’t bothered to learn about even the most basic issues facing this country, choosing instead to just scream “Jesus” and hold borderline snake-handling revivals. And the other one, God help him, has told so many outright lies and changed positions so many times, I’m not sure he remembers his own name at this point.
(I’m Luther Strange and I approved this message … unless you don’t like it. If so, then I didn’t approve it. Mitch did! And I don’t have to be Luther Strange anymore if you don’t like that. Call me anything. I don’t care. Just don’t make me do real work. Pleeeaasseee!)
In the meantime, there’s good ol’ Doug Jones. A smart, sane, honest man. He’s never been kicked off the bench for not following the law or accused of being unethical. He would go to D.C. and represent the interests of common Alabamians instead of shilling for big business or carrying out a useless crusade.
He’s more like you than either of those two Republicans, and he’d damn sure offer YOU a better hand up.
But he’s got that D beside his name. And, I guess, that means more to you than your own well-being.
