The absurd world of politics

By Josh Moon
Alabama Political Reporter

Let me tell you about politics.

Early Tuesday afternoon, as the Alabama Legislature was about to start up its fourth week of work, there was the usual mishmash of people milling around inside and outside of the State House.

Conservative and Liberal groups. Lobbyists by the dozen. There was a pro-life rally. Arise Alabama was having its Legislative Day, with members walking the halls and speaking to lawmakers.

It’s sort of like someone kicked over a weird ant hill.

As one lobbyist drove in front of the State House just before the House was set to start at 1 p.m., she spotted the rare and most coveted of all legislature necessities: A good parking spot.

Right up front. Easy in, easy out.

But standing in that spot was an elderly lady. Several other elderly people, some of them using canes and walkers, were standing around the parking spot.

The lobbyist hit the button and dropped her window. She asked if she could get into the spot.

Instead of moving, the lady standing in the spot asked a question of her own: “How do you feel about judicial override.”

The lobbyist paused. And like all good lobbyists, she took measure of the situation: Alabama. Elderly woman. Dressed nicely. A pro-life rally recently broke up.

She made her call.

“I say fry ‘em all!” was her reply.

Now, let’s pause for a moment to appreciate this rare and utterly absurd situation that would occur almost nowhere else on earth.

Instead of simply moving from a parking spot, an assumedly sane, reasonable woman has instead continued to physically block it and demanded a political position pass code in order to move.

Without considering this to be absurd, the lobbyist not only played along but performed a sort of on-the-spot voter analysis of the woman in order to offer what she felt was the perfect phony answer that would achieve the desired result.

Un-pause.

In the words of Debate Trump: Wrong!

Turns out, the nicely dressed elderly lady had on an Arise Alabama badge and had attended the judicial override press conference. “Fry ‘em all” was not the correct pass code.

So, instead of a nice parking spot, the lobbyist received a nice tongue lashing, which included a few curse words and being labeled a “Nazi.”

Later, she told me, “Hell, I didn’t care. Neither side is paying me. If I’d known that was her thing, I would’ve screamed, ‘Let ‘em all go!’”

And that, kids, is the absurd and maddening world of politics.