By Joey Kennedy
Alabama Political Reporter
Well, I guess same-sex marriage did destroy traditional marriage. At least in Alabama, where homophobic probate judges refuse to sign marriage licenses for men who love men and women who love women.
The Supreme Court of the United States leaves little doubt: Same-sex marriage is the law of the land. Live with it.
Except in Alabama; we never live with it.
We Dare Defend Our Wrongs.
So in a special session of the Legislature to fix a $200 million deficit in the state General Fund Budget (SGF), lawmakers were considering a bill that would do away with marriage licenses altogether. Instead, we’d register our marriages with a probate judge so that a homophobic judge doesn’t have to sign a marriage license. OK. The bill is dead. Not moving forward, thank Mrs. God.
But it was moving forward. Until it didn’t. Thank God, my God, it didn’t.
Heavy sigh.
I was so happy on that day more than 35 years ago that Veronica and I obtained a marriage license. We were getting married. Wow! I was so stressed out, I lost nearly 30 pounds before our wedding. But we were licensed to wed, and we did. We’ve been married almost 36 years now. Mostly happily wed, I’d add. Veronica may have another viewpoint. I wanted to frame our marriage license.
But there was a time in Alabama, and, sadly, not too long ago, that probate judges didn’t want to issue marriage licenses for interracial couples. Yes, we’ve been there, done that. The Supreme Court did away with the stupid laws, mostly in the South, that prohibited a black man and white woman, or a white man and black woman, from getting married.
I don’t know if anybody ever said it, but they probably did: Interracial marriage will destroy traditional marriage. In 2000, when we voted to do away with the interracial prohibition in the Alabama constitution, the measure barely passed. And it passed only because of African-American voters. White people didn’t want none of that.
Here’s what destroys traditional marriage: Divorce. We’re a very divorced society. That clerk in Kentucky who refuses to sign same-sex marriage licenses has been married four times. That’s adultery, also condemned in her Bible. By Jesus Christ, nonetheless. My friend Jesus never said anything about same-sex marriage, but he did condemn adultery. How does she get around that? There are good reasons for divorce, and I’m not even condemning divorce. But I certainly don’t think somebody who divorces so easily should be condemning same-sex marriage. I’m condemning prejudice: My marriage is no better – or worse – than your marriage.
I’ll tell you: I’m not worried about one of my gay friends wrecking my marriage. If I’m worried – and I’m not – it’s the randy heterosexual I have to look out for. Adultery is the threat to traditional marriage, not my gay and lesbian friends who have gotten married, who have adopted children, who have lived pure lives in monogamous relationships. They’re OK.
I’ve learned a lot more about relationships from my gay friends than from many of my heterosexual friends who have screwed around on their spouses, who have dishonored their vows, who have looked Christ in the eye and said: So, what?
And, so, a few Alabama probate judges don’t want to issue marriage licenses to gay couples, so, by damned, they won’t issue them to anybody.
The mostly homophobic Alabama Legislature was going to accommodate them. They were on the verge of passing a law that will do away with marriage licenses altogether that will truly do away with marriage as we know it. All because they’re afraid of people who love each other. But somebody, in a House committee, said enough! Let’s do something better. They don’t like it, but they understand it’s crazy.
That, with all the challenges we have in Alabama, doing away with marriage licenses because a few probate judges and lawmakers are homophobic takes up time in a crucial special session says a lot about what Alabama is:
We don’t want interracial marriages. We don’t want same-sex marriages. We don’t want to live in the present. We want to remain in the past. Deeply, firmly embedded in the past. A past that has no future in modern-day America. A past that is shameful and embarrassing. A past that is defined by Alabama. A few lawmakers said no. Thank God, my God, they said no.
But, still, that’s who many of our legislators and a few probate judges are. It’s the past of Judge Roy Moore. It’s the past we need to reject. The past we need to get beyond.
We dodged this silly bill. Thank God. Yes, my God. And your God.
We Dare Defend Our Wrongs.
Alabama has a long history of that, and we don’t learn. We never learn. We keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result.
My friends, we are batshit crazy.
Joey Kennedy, a Pulitzer Prize winner, writes this column every Wednesday for Alabama Political Reporter.
Email: joeykennedy@me.com.
